Asante Sana, Kenya
I did my 1L summer internship in Nairobi, Kenya at RELON-Kenya, a refugee-led organization that provides legal and psychosocial services for primarily Congolese, Somali, and Sudanese refugees. This is a reflection of my experience within the organization, Nairobi, and beyond.
The Organization and the Work
As a legal intern, my role was to support refugees with family reunification and child custody cases. When families are separated during the course of war and end up in different countries, there is an immigration procedure that must occur in order to reunite them. Additionally, when a parent or caregiver is attempting to flee their home country and seek refuge in another country, they must get legal “permission” to do so when only one parent or caregiver is present. There may be only one parent present when one parent died in the war, there was rape as a weapon of war and the father raped the mother and fled, or if the parents are separated and are not fleeing together. Typically, both parents must consent when moving a child across international borders, but when one present is unable to consent for any of the above reasons, there is a legal procedure that will allow one parent to flee the country without permission from the other parent.
Unfortunately, due to the funding crisis caused by Trump’s refusal to grant funds to organizations, like the U.S.-based organization that funded RELON, there was almost no legal work to do. Some months we could afford to support a maximum of seven cases, other months only three, while thousands of families wait in limbo searching for safety and unity.
Furthermore, there are tumultuous dynamics going on between the Kenyan governmental department in charge of issuing refugee status decisions and UNHCR. Essentially, when a person seeks refuge in another country, they must apply for refugee status. Until they receive such status, they are unable to obtain a work permit, benefits, and are expected to stay in refugee camps, which can be incredibly dangerous, contain unhealthy living conditions, and is generally uncomfortable to say the least. Currently, refugee status decisions are significantly delayed due to lack of staff caused by lack of funding. UNHCR stepped in to support somewhat, but that means things are controlled by an external entity, creating tension and dependence in a way that is not sustainable for Kenya to be able to manage this work successfully. As a result, thousands of refugees are stuck in limbo, living on as low as single digit dollars a month.
Fortunately, since I also have a social work degree, I teamed up with psychosocial team at RELON (funded by another source), to hold group therapy sessions in the field with refugee women, and to train refugees on peacebuilding and psychological first-aid in their communities.
East African Politics
In a nutshell, East Africa’s wealth of minerals and subsequent European colonization has left the region unstable for decades. Instability begets poverty, crime, desperation, and violence, which begets corrupt politicians and continuous warfare with no end in sight. There is no way to adequately summarize the complex dynamics of the region due to the utter destruction that European colonization has left, even after countries gained their independence. Despite the overwhelm of understanding the dynamics of the region, I attempted to do just that over the course of the summer and am still barely scratching the surface.
As an aspiring international human rights attorney, I have needed to narrow in on a geographic region of focus. I have found that in East Africa this summer. The dynamics of colonization, natural resources and climate change, gender and gender-based violence, political violence, art, and culture all live here. I felt professionally stimulated and personally at home.
Life in Kenya and Personal Growth
Before moving to Nairobi, I struggled with needing to prove myself, needing to be exceptional in order to feel worthy and valuable, and it was taking a toll on my mental health. After doing terribly academically in my first year of law school and being rejected by someone I thought I wanted to be my boyfriend, my world was turned upside down. All my life, I thought perfectionism, at the cost of joy, was my ticket to happiness and acceptance. When all it left me was alone, insecure, and failing, I decided to throw risk aversion to the wind and do whatever I wanted regardless of what people thought about it (not that I had to tell anyone what I was doing with my life).
Letting go of perfectionism after holding onto it with a death grip all my life was not easy and it did not happen overnight. The biggest shift came from making friends out of my coworkers in Kenya. Instantly after starting at RELON, I was accepted and taken care of, loved even, before I could even show them that I was perfect and exceptional in a way that deserved love. Before I earned it. I was so confused as to why they valued me so much simply for existing in their community. Was it because I am American, which comes with a weird power dynamic? Was it because I’m a law student? It was none of those things. They were loving this way with other people and colleagues they interacted with on a regular basis. This was part of the culture. This culture and these people that accepted me for existing taught me how to love myself in the same way. That was the biggest learning experience I had this summer and something I am forever grateful to my friends in Kenya for.
It was then that I was able to experience a joy and warmth that transformed the fibers of my being forever. I laughed every day this summer. I was embraced by refugee women, friends, baristas, cooks. I was entrusted to hold all of the babies I desired! Something beautiful about Kenyan culture is community that surrounds children. It was as if someone’s baby was everyone’s baby, for all that that came with. To sing and dance with the community of women that allowed me to care for their babies is something that I will never take for granted nor get enough of.
While living in Nairobi, I took Swahili lessons, befriended my laundry guy, and took boxing lessons for the first time. I felt powerful learning how strong and capable I am, both in the ring and outside of it. I found a community that gave me belonging in a way that I hadn’t felt in my own skin before moving to Nairobi.
For all of my growth, I gifted myself with a birthday trip to Zanzibar to snorkel, go on a spice tour, and take a cooking class. The city was breath-taking. Quite literally getting lost in the intimate small streets and alleyways led me to artists, more babies to hold, cafes, old men hanging around sharing stories, and night markets. I also went to the last operating slave market for the Middle Eastern Slave Trade, which was particularly brutal and did not become illegal until many years after the Trans-Atlantic Slave Trade.
Ancestral Presence
I fell in love with Kenya for the community, belonging, and tea, but it became spiritual when I recognized that my ancestors were communicating with me the entire time. I recognized my ancestors’ messages in my last week there, when I went to a tea farm outside of the city. Kenya is the largest tea exporter in the world, and anyone who knows me knows that I am passionate about all things tea. Long before going to the tea farm, I created a Pinterest board of my dream life. That Pinterest board was presented to me in real life at the tea farm. I’ve never had a shortage of ambition, but there has always been a small amount of doubt that came with a lack of self-trust. A sense of peace washed over me at the tea farm and I knew my ancestors were showing me that the life I’ve always wanted was real, within reach, and possible. Then, I started to reflect on my entire trip, and saw that those messages had been occurring all along.
I have longed for community and belonging, but didn’t think I could obtain it, at least not without proving myself first. I was given a taste of what that felt like in my new friends. I never believed I am unlovable, but I had the limiting belief that I wouldn’t find it or that I wouldn’t be loved in the way that I needed. While I did not find love in Kenya, I was abundant with offers. I realized I had a scarcity mindset that caused me to accept men that were not good for me, because I didn’t think I was going to find what I actually wanted. With self-love and an abundance of offers, I realized that I am in control and I can have whatever I want.
For so long, I’ve waited for the other shoe to drop in dating. I’ve expected to be hurt and let down in every scenario. This time, I was the one letting men down because I’m in this new space of being used to the assumption that I’m going to be abandoned, but still entertaining things because I crave the attention. Then, when I realized these offers were serious, I had to be the one to turn men down. I felt awful. I’m still getting used to what it feels like to know I’m abundant and recognize that it also comes with responsibility. I can’t be out here breaking hearts recklessly! But what a wonderful problem to have!
My ancestors also showed me to believe in myself as an artist, which I always struggle with. I got more commissions while in Kenya than I have in my whole life.
At my going away party, my friends in Kenya described me in ways I’d never thought of myself before, which signaled that I was exuding a new energy. Talented, intelligent, brave, funny, outgoing. Carefree.
In curiosity,
Meghan
